To all Malaysians out there, did you guys know that, just a few days ago, the medium of teaching science and mathematics has been reverted back to Bahasa Melayu. Not having any problems against the Malay language, in fact I’m proud to actually able to speak it, I’m realistically frustrated and upset looking at how our country is falling backwards. Confused and lost, we are. Even our former prime minister, Dr. M seemed pretty upset about this, the fact that he was the one initiating the proposal and probation of teaching mathematics and science in English. I feel you, man. Many would lose out in this ever growing world where English is the international language. To the school kids out there, you guys are on your own now, I survived the hurricane, hopefully you do too. I even saw some new group on facebook, insisting that they are AGAINST teaching science and mathematics in Bahasa Melayu. Yeah, like that is ever going to work, it’s just something some bored person created just to pass time and his/her plan worked out as more and more losers actually join this group. Facebook people, GET A LIFE! This include myself too.

In Kuala Terengganu, a girl was being attacked in school because, get this, the other girl was jealous of her beauty. This is kinda ironic. You don’t see me running up to some random dude and beating him up simply because he is better looking than me. If this would to continue, the world will end up in anarchy. We will only have crappy, horrible and poor looking people. Horizontal challenge people too, not forgetting. This might well explain why would Zinedine Zidane would to headbutt Marco Metarazzi in the middle of the World Cup Final. Maybe Marco said, “Hey baldy, don’t you wish you had hair like mine?” Bomb, goes the head butt. Well, basically, I need to accept how I look everytime I look into the mirror. I doubt it will seriously get better if I would to look at it more often. I don’t have to whack people with bigger eyes than mine, I love my ‘mata sepet‘ (Slit eye, common genetically feature of China-men), it makes me special. I like how fat I am right now, due to the motivation it gives me to play football, go for a jog or keeping fit. Hard to imagine those fat people that doesn’t has the motivation to keep fit, especially it’s someone that is very particular about how they look (**man). I guess humans are never satisfied with how they look. Now wonder, suicide rates is rocketing come festive season as new clothes means more mirror looking, more mirror looking means more grief, more grief means more…..

I wasn’t surprised when I saw this, a lady tried to kill herself because she had an argument with her boyfriend. I’m not trying to encourage suicide but isn’t it a bit chicken to stand on a bridge, ready to jump but ended up, not dead but in a lock up? I’m not a sadist but isn’t it stupid for anyone to actually try to commit suicide. I mean, I had some sad moments in life, betrayed and cheated on (New York Mining Disaster of 08) and yes, I did thought of ending my life but I doubt I have the balls to actually put my life on the line. This lady, not only had the guts to stand on top of a pedestrian bridge above a railway track, which put a delay on our already “harap maaf, train tergendala bullcrap” train system but made some fire fighter actually get off their ass and do some work. Imagine how the onlookers would do, bet on her life, maybe? “Fifty that she jumps, any takes? Any bookmakers on the JUMP floor?” Anyway, in a nut shell, she chicken out and was convinced to love herself, bla bla bla…. A round of applause for those brave men that convince her that her life was more precious, oh my gosh, maybe now try convincing those people to stop being an asshole.

post -script : As my title suggested, if you would to ask me about my Tasmania trip. One word. Cold. Freaking, killing, crazily, madly, unbelievably.

Told you it was cold!

Back in the warm arms of Princess Heidi,

Hanjun.

Sorry for the 2 weeks absent, I have been having exams.

Did you know that whipping out your wiener in front of our female counterpart is highly illegal? But is it illegal for a hot sheila to pull up her shirt and expose her mammary gland? Maybe the law enforcers might not have time to catch them, the fact that both their eyes are focused on inappropriate exposure might not prompt them to do anything about it. Okay, forget about the analogy. Recently in Kuala Terrenganu, a flasher is seen around at a place called Air Jernih Flats. Well, it takes a lot of guts for some dude to run around naked in a religious govern state. Maybe global warming drove him into an “all-natural” state full time. In his superhero world, he is known as Ahmad Penunjuk, which meant Flasher Ahmad in malay and he earned this nickname by leaving a note, stating “Ahmad was here”. Real smart. What’s next? Why not leave your identity card number and address? The stupidest part has to be the fact that he actually masturbated in front of his victim. Hard to imagine a dude jerking off in front of his targets. But, it beats whacking off in front of a mannequin like Borat. In one way, it’s disgusting, but who are we to judge? Maybe he has some sort of sick and pathetic symptom that requires this sort of action to cure his wacky mind. Well, I don’t want to know about that. Reading this from the internet, the funniest part is always at the end. As I scroll down, I realised all his victims are old ladies. What? Some sort of granny mature fetish? That is so sick. He should get tested. One of his victim commented, “He probably thought that I would get excited. I have been married for 33 years and have seen enough.” Oh my gosh, “Enough“? What does that mean? How many husbands do you need to get married to see ENOUGH? Who says that in an interview? This is getting very disgusting, even mushroom is getting better looking for me. So, I guess this is a natural stopping point for me before I start to puke in Ikea again.

Yet, like I predicted, sexually related news never seem to disappear. Either due to the sick minds of Asians or the curious minds of the reporters. In Singapore, a boy, 15 was always thought studying till night before going home was actually serving as a boytoy for some lonely maid. I really cannot picture this. In fact, the parents started to be suspicious after noticing some very wrong messages on his phone and hired a private investigator. He found out this young teen meets up with this maid after class and hook up in the place the maid is working. It’s a surprise, I would thought this situation would be another way round. Funny how our world is twisting, I personally blame it all on global warming. But, seriously, is this legal or illegal? Is it even a crime? Is he being forcefully pushed to commit such an act or is it just consensual? Who is to blame, besides global warming? Sometimes I wonder, is this kinda of material even suitable to be posted on the newspaper. It’s really weird in a way but maybe it’s just the matter of time that we need to get used to face this kind of stuff.

Today, I decided to read the News Straits Times online too, to kill time. Surprisingly, I came upon something unbelievable. a 78 year old business man died of heart attack upon having a foreplay with a transvestite. I always thought heart attack happens to middle age man when you’re reading the credit card bills of the missus after some sort of shopping sales. This is a new level of heart attack. Or something the missus says to get a man into shape. I suspect, maybe he was about to have intercourse, just to find out he/she was a transvestite. His little shocked heart cannot take it anymore. Maybe his last word was, “Oh my gosh, it’s a pen….” and down he goes, caught in the act. It’s kinda sad, dying next to a transvestite, if it would be Paris Hilton or some scary blonde, maybe I would applaud but this is a bit unacceptable. Rest in peace, you desperate old man. Better luck next time.

post – script : I know it’s a bit gay to say this, but my memory really hurts. I’m not sure how long I can take this.

What was my name again,

Tan H-something.

Last week, while some people are still waiting for a place they can call home, instead of moving around squatters and longhouses, last year, our government bought a submarine with a bonus in a form of a Mongolian woman and send some dude to space. Nice! Yeah, you can argue that sending that dude to space was an exchange program of 18 Sukhoi jets worth 3.42 billion ringgit. I think the idiots I’ve mentioned from my last post would really understand right now. 3.42 billion ringgit worth of taxpayers’ money. He went to space as a tourist, come on, face the fact. Besides, as a proud Malaysian, he was the first man to pull a teh tarik in zero gravity. A round of applause, we should pop champagne and celebrate. That is just wonderful. Hey, why do we need 18 Russian made sukhoi? Why not British made harriers that might give us a chance to tour the Queen’s bathroom instead. There are 7000 people from Jinjang Utara had been promised low cost flats within 6 months to 2 years. And because they are living in a country that everything is possible, much alike with Adidas’s motto. It’s been 17 years. There is a clear indication that there is not enough low cost accommodation, although our government claim that low cost houses are built outside the city. Well, either this people are too fussy or they just hate living outside the city. I’ve seen the countryside low cost house, it is located in some sort of nuclear waste land where animals would die upon crossing the borders. It’s in the middle of no-where. Who the hell wants to move there? I came out with an idea, why not move all this people to Eastern Malaysia, also known as Borneo? First, we can solve the over-populated capitals across the western coast of the Malayan Peninsula. Second, with more people, Borneo can hopefully grow. Yeah, they  might lose their jobs, since most of the ‘low-cost-housing-people’ have jobs back in KL or other big towns in the Malayan Peninsula. One more idea, move to Borneo, work as a border guard, shoot any Indonesian if spotted, or shoot anyone trying to kill an Orang-utan.

"Niggars will perish, the south will rise again."