You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July, 2008.
Good morning,
I am actually missing my dynamics tutorial to post this up. I did not finish my tutorials therefore I find it pointless to go to class. I just came back from my uncle’s place. His new place is great. I moved the mattress and some furniture with him. We even had a nice dinner over at Le Meridien’s the latest recipe. I lovesd their seafood spagetti and Indian food. This time I did not see the beautiful ms. waffle. The dinner was great.
Did you know that I was there when Chelsea played against Malaysia. It was the greatest night I had as a football fan. First time seeing JT, Michael, Lamps, Deco, Sheva, Joe and Ash up close. The journey was bumper to bumper along the way. The federal was stuck up as if there is an evacuation. Nicholas Anelka and Ashley Cole scored. The thing that really caught my attention was most of Malaysian are supporting Chelsea and most of the Caucasian are supporting Malaysia. It’s so ironic. I saw a bunch of them actually chanting, ” We hate chelsea and we love Malaysia… ” Wow, coming to M’sia really brainwashed them. I think it’s the weather spoiled their brain cell.
Stuck in Shah Alam
Come On, Chelsea!
My Tickets
Chelsea in Shah Alam Stadium
Chelsea in Malaysia and I was there
Honeslty, I would trade every small happiness I have in this world for eternal happiness. Do you know what I mean by eternal happiness? It means knowing people still love you a lot. Sometimes in boring afternoons, especially in solid mechanics classes, I am so lost, so lost thinking about the past and so lost thinking about the future. I found out people cannot feel sadness of others when they are too happy. What would you feel if you are cheated, betrayed and left to die? My life is always full of story, come take a picture for me.
“Can everyone agree that no one should be left alone?”
I am still the 16 year old boy,
Tan Han Jun
Hello from the world below,
I realised a lot of American sitcoms surrounds situation about married couple and a few stereotype saying married people cannot do things like when they are single. I know but I think love life is about committing yourself. I think I have no problem with it and I hope I can prove it. People always say single life is you can do anything you want, anything you like at anytime and anywhere. Married people have less time for themselves but more time togther with their spouses. For me, both are great for what they are. I belive love is find it’s way home. So, don’t worry.
When I was younger, I am a guy that stick to materials to make me feel better. Now, not so. I was planning to buy stuffs but not really into buying it right now. Contrast to the days when I was younger. I had a dream. I thought to myself. By 29, I hope I can get myself a bunch of cool guy stuffs. I need this:
1. It cost USD $6500. I was thinking. A man need a good watch.
IWC Portuguese Chrono Automatic
The place I study in contains a lot of weird people. Doing things way beyond the ordinary. The saddest part of them all, they are my connections.
We have Spiderman. Super weird position to study math.
Spiderman
Then, we have gay couple in McD. I am so scared as Lai (Left) told me he was straight but I sometimes wonder, If he cannot if even spell straight correctly, is he gay?
Why lovers shed their tears?
I have been caught up by soemthing new in my life which is playing pool. I have been playing a lot of pool recently, I suck. I know. I am trying hard to win. I also wished I had a one on one game with M. He also suck but suck more than me. M thinks he is smart, handsome and charming. Yeah, he wish he is. He can slowly dream on. Can you imagine the embarassment we get when we sit next to him in a restaurant. Chelsea is here and tonight, it will be a great night despite the fact that none of my friends wanted to follow me to the game. I lost my Maybank password, I felt a lame loser. Honestly, I never took the time to go remember it. Shit!
Do you know what is butterfly effect? It is said that even a small condition can change a total disastrous outcome. Even a small flap of a butterfly’s wing can alter the change in a weather leading to disasters like tornado. I saw it on here on wikipedia and thought that it might mean soemthing to my readers. Greeks believes butterflies means mind and soul.
Lifehouse sang a song called “butterfly”, it tells a story of a girl that is unpopular in school, having control freaks parents and wished to run away from reality. It touches me as I know a lot of people that feels that way. Sometimes in life, things doesn’t go your way and you felt people don’t love you. I bet soemone does and by running away, you only hurt the ones that love you the most.
For some, a butterfly might mean others like one Japanese superstition says that if a butterfly enters your guestroom and perches behind the bamboo screen, the person whom you most love is coming to see you. Chinese belives true lovers will die and become butterflies and roam this earth forever. There is when the story of the butterfly lovers came. To those who don’t know, please read this story here on butterflylovers.org. It might sound funny but for chinese and myself, I find it very very touching. I mean not the story but the classical mandarin verses that describes the story. One of them being, “…In hers heart, she had decided that even if heaven and earth passed away, her love for him would never change, and she wanted to be with him for all eternity…”, you should read the mandarin version of it. It sounds so touching and moving. I hope I can feel that way.
purple butterfly
P/S :: remember that pen I gave you? It is a picture of a purple butterfly. Remember what I told you about what happens to beautiful girls when they die in chinese belief? You will be one.
Dont’ know what’s wrong with myself,
Tan Han Jun
Sometimes in life, things just felt weird for me. Looking at my past, I am not sure whether I am the good guy or bad one. I had weird feelings again. I felt so lonely right now as I am blogging. I always feel lonely especially yesterday driving home in the middle of the night while looking at the highway lights. I guess I am just living for what happens tomorrow. Does everyone deserves a second chance? I had so many dreams and desire and now I am not even sure what I want for breakfast. I thought of things like marriage and something I call “eternal happiness”. I have been watching “rules of engagement”, which stars David Spade from “just shoot me”. It’s about 5 characters. Adam and Jen, a newly engaged couple and Jeff and Audrey, a couple married for 12 years and Russell, their single friend. It’s totally cool especially about marriage, love and emotional stuffs. I kinda like it.
Did you know I had dreams about mrsm yesterday and it was not a good one. I did not even talk to her. Sometimes I wonder is going to mrsm a good choice? I am not sure. I am looking forward to this week’s chelsea game and pc fair. My acer pisses me off again. By the way, my house will welcome a new lcd monitor. The old one just spoiled.
I recently thought of furthering my studies in London once I finish my basic degree in M’sia. Maybe a year or half and I will be done. I checked a few universities in London over the net, I found a few attractive ones like Imperial college London and University of Greenwich. Both offer post graduate civil engineering studies. I always wanted to go to London. I told that to my teacher during a oral speaking test during my high school days. Most of my teachers that taught me english studied in England, like london, sheffield and manchester. I want to see the world and see people around the world. I am not sure about this plan to further my studies yet, who knows, maybe another door is opening for me. Speaking about choices, I would never tell anyone that I have no choice. For me, “no choice” is unacceptable. Yeah, I went to a christian fellowship on thursday and felt happy after it plus the fact the God loves everyone. I also had a great time that day with Kat and EJ. We went to bangsar and had nandos.
Lai and Sim came over my place for a movie. “The dark knight”, I think most of you heard it before. Great movie. I drove to pyramid for the first time. We had a great time. Lai stayed over which brought me to a new story. To H, I got a feeling that G is totally into you. I believe you should give an answer to her no matter it is yes or no. Don’t leave her dying there. I trust that you will make a good choice. My tip is to sit down and think about it. You have to face it. You can run away, but think about what will she feel. I hope you can find happiness. By the way, Lai, sling bags are for girls.
Living alone outside sometimes make you realise things you usually don’t. Living in a close community once taught me people are desperate inside. Desperate to do anything to make themselves comfortable but not to others. People around me told me that I keep repeating my story and also crying over the same issues but I just depressed, I felt like happiness was being robbed away. I am not angry or anything close to revenge. I am just disappointed that I am destined to feel this way. I was sure about everything. Things were going somewhere. I sometimes think about my own destiny in life and just sigh in regrets. I think God knows that things like this can kill me but why am I destined to face, He knows I cannot take it. Maybe it’s a test, and I think I learnt my lesson and can you stop doing this to me? This is just the beginning of a not so good life.
P/S :: I think I know now, I am not worthy, I know it’s my fault, I hope when I am ready, things could get better. I really cannot take it now because I can’t breath.
