Sorry for the 2 weeks absent, I have been having exams.

Did you know that whipping out your wiener in front of our female counterpart is highly illegal? But is it illegal for a hot sheila to pull up her shirt and expose her mammary gland? Maybe the law enforcers might not have time to catch them, the fact that both their eyes are focused on inappropriate exposure might not prompt them to do anything about it. Okay, forget about the analogy. Recently in Kuala Terrenganu, a flasher is seen around at a place called Air Jernih Flats. Well, it takes a lot of guts for some dude to run around naked in a religious govern state. Maybe global warming drove him into an “all-natural” state full time. In his superhero world, he is known as Ahmad Penunjuk, which meant Flasher Ahmad in malay and he earned this nickname by leaving a note, stating “Ahmad was here”. Real smart. What’s next? Why not leave your identity card number and address? The stupidest part has to be the fact that he actually masturbated in front of his victim. Hard to imagine a dude jerking off in front of his targets. But, it beats whacking off in front of a mannequin like Borat. In one way, it’s disgusting, but who are we to judge? Maybe he has some sort of sick and pathetic symptom that requires this sort of action to cure his wacky mind. Well, I don’t want to know about that. Reading this from the internet, the funniest part is always at the end. As I scroll down, I realised all his victims are old ladies. What? Some sort of granny mature fetish? That is so sick. He should get tested. One of his victim commented, “He probably thought that I would get excited. I have been married for 33 years and have seen enough.” Oh my gosh, “Enough“? What does that mean? How many husbands do you need to get married to see ENOUGH? Who says that in an interview? This is getting very disgusting, even mushroom is getting better looking for me. So, I guess this is a natural stopping point for me before I start to puke in Ikea again.

Yet, like I predicted, sexually related news never seem to disappear. Either due to the sick minds of Asians or the curious minds of the reporters. In Singapore, a boy, 15 was always thought studying till night before going home was actually serving as a boytoy for some lonely maid. I really cannot picture this. In fact, the parents started to be suspicious after noticing some very wrong messages on his phone and hired a private investigator. He found out this young teen meets up with this maid after class and hook up in the place the maid is working. It’s a surprise, I would thought this situation would be another way round. Funny how our world is twisting, I personally blame it all on global warming. But, seriously, is this legal or illegal? Is it even a crime? Is he being forcefully pushed to commit such an act or is it just consensual? Who is to blame, besides global warming? Sometimes I wonder, is this kinda of material even suitable to be posted on the newspaper. It’s really weird in a way but maybe it’s just the matter of time that we need to get used to face this kind of stuff.

Today, I decided to read the News Straits Times online too, to kill time. Surprisingly, I came upon something unbelievable. a 78 year old business man died of heart attack upon having a foreplay with a transvestite. I always thought heart attack happens to middle age man when you’re reading the credit card bills of the missus after some sort of shopping sales. This is a new level of heart attack. Or something the missus says to get a man into shape. I suspect, maybe he was about to have intercourse, just to find out he/she was a transvestite. His little shocked heart cannot take it anymore. Maybe his last word was, “Oh my gosh, it’s a pen….” and down he goes, caught in the act. It’s kinda sad, dying next to a transvestite, if it would be Paris Hilton or some scary blonde, maybe I would applaud but this is a bit unacceptable. Rest in peace, you desperate old man. Better luck next time.

post – script : I know it’s a bit gay to say this, but my memory really hurts. I’m not sure how long I can take this.

What was my name again,

Tan H-something.

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