I almost thought the world ran out of jokes until today. Not long ago, the Holy month of Ramadhan of the muslim calender started and some of my friends are fasting. Today, reading from the newspaper, a salesgirl was caught red handed stealing underwears from a shopping mall. Inside job. Not really a surprise, considering, how easily it is to sneak things in and out when so many people are shopping for the new year. I used to remember how busy the shopping malls are especially when Ramadhan is ending. Last minute shopping is totally a scam. Back to my point, the woman is now trying to persuade court to release her, since it’s Ramadhan, time for forgiving and loving. So I guess it’s alright to steal during ramadhan. Don’t get me wrong, I believe people deserve a second chance but I don’t think she should be let go so easily. Community service maybe? Do you know what she stole? A pair of panties, six brassieres, three pyjamas, a long dress and a shirt worth a total of RM430.90. Unbelievable. Why do anyone in a conscious mind steal 6 bras? Is it necessary?  She appeared in front of the court with this statement.

“In light of the fasting month and upcoming Raya celebration, please give me a chance. Please do not impose a deterrent sentence which would separate me from my family and deny their love during this special month.”

Isn’t it the funniest shit that you’ve ever heard, coming from someone that is convicted of stealing? I laughed so hard that my room flooded and the tears come spilling from the house. The neighbours thought the house was weeping and it was a miracle. Thank God no one suggesting stoning her to death.

Next up, an almost American mafia story in our own backyard. A woman’s body was found under a layer of cement on the stairs. I hope it’s not any of Don Carleone’s man who did that. Apparently, a foul odour attracted attention from the residents at that apartment and sooner, they found that body lying within a layer of cement. How scary is that. Too bad Malaysia doesn’t possess the crew from CSI. This case would be cracked like a billion years ago. Imagine what you can find under a layer of cement nowadays. Murder has been a problem in Malaysia, often ended up with some gruesome scene and the detectives might be the one puking to death. Last week, a man thought he hit fortune, when a lady paid him some money to get rid of a ‘Golden Statue’ which turned out to be a dead body. The new case was a man was found dead in his car. People walking by thought he was just sitting tight but without any movement for a while. Turns out, he’s dead. Holy Crap!

To the favourite sport in the world, soccer. The new FIFA ranking is out and guess where is hell is Malaysia? 152nd place. Nice, I wonder are we at the bottom of the list. Even Vietnam is higher than us on the freaking list. Goodness gracious. I’m not sure whether will I live to the day to see Malaysia playing their first ever world cup. David asked me during futsal about Malaysian soccer and I lost words. I have no idea how to describe one of the most played sport in Malaysia and how we cannot make it to the majors. All I said was, the only thing the Malaysian team is consistent in is changing it’s player every 5 months. Did you watch how Malaysia was beaten the hell out by Vietnam last year. I watched and I wept for the future of my country’s football.  She said Vietnam was lucky but honestly, our national team just suck. Why would nike sponsor our team? Did you know Malaysia is the second lowest ranked team sponsored by nike? I take so much comfort from that. Yeah, right. I wonder.

Indonesian people has creating problems to Malaysians for years now. I really don’t understand that. Did you every tried typing “Ganyang Malaysia” into facebook search and read all those colorful name those people called Malaysia? Awesome. Recently, some student protester threw eggs towards the Malaysian Embassy in Jakarta thanks to some mistake made by Discovery Channel as they insert a clip of Balinese dancers in a Malaysian tourism video. Come on! Is it necessary? Bullshit. I guess misunderstanding is bound to happen when 2 losers cannot accept and tolerate. This has been boiling under the surface for a long time, coupled with the Indonesian model and her so not fairy tale ending and the long battle for marine territory along the east coast of Borneo. I think this fued traced back to the days when we’re so much ahead of Indonesia. This love-hate relationship is going downwards as I honestly speak up for Indonesia. They are moving. In case any of you nut heads didn’t realise, Indonesia is moving ahead in terms of economy. I would say, they are like China 30 years ago when everyone thinks otherwise. Trust me. Think about it, why all the terrorist attacks happens in Indonesia? It’s because there are a lot of foreign, specifically western investors in Indonesia. Why is there a lot of western investors in Indonesia? Figure that out. Indonesia’s main power is it’s populated country. I guess sooner or later if we Malaysians still stay the same, we would lose out. In terms of competition, it will only get feistier. Maybe it will give our ass the kicking we need and in relation, move us too. Hopefully.

A little update about myself. I’m still waiting for E’s call. He’s been in Sydney for 2 months and I have’t got any news from him. What happened? By the way, I guess I’m going to have to start writing my own version of “How I met your mother” story. Kathir said he’s going to help. It will be helping me if he prank me if, “I’m just lying on the bed, wearing my old cheerleader costume and reading engineering magazine”. Laughs.

post – script : She looks kinda cute when she’s lost in translation.

The first date,

Hanjun.